I didn’t really understand how big of a deal race was until the black lives matter movement in 2020. I grew up in a family of conservative, white, racists. For a long time I considered myself conservative as well because that’s what my family was and I didn’t know much else (and I was also an edgy 13 year old). I really started paying attention when what happened to George Floyd was talked about everywhere. I remember hearing my dad and other family members make jokes about the incident and talk about conspiracy theories about how the whole thing was faked.
This was the first time that I had really understood how differently I felt from the rest of my family. It’s not like it happened over night, but as I got older leading up to this incident, I knew I wasn’t totally on the same page as my family. I considered myself a little more compassionate and empathetic. I couldn’t wrap my head around how anyone could watch the video of what happened and laugh or think that it was okay. I started speaking out about how I felt on the issue and was immediately talked over and met with disrespect and threats of being grounded. I was coined the “snowflake” of the family for simply advocating for equal rights. I remember making a facebook post about something to do with me supporting the BLM movement and my family telling me I was supporting a terrorist movement. That was one of the last times I discussed race or politics in general with my family. It was truly a lost cause.
It was not easy for me to deconstruct the racism I was taught for years. I am still learning even to this day. But it’s also not easy for people who aren’t white to face discrimination every day, so it’s the least I can do. I will never know what it’s like to be discriminated against for the color of my skin. I understand that I have an advantage over people who are not white because I have seen first hand how my family and others talk about non white people and the constant stereotyping. It is a hard topic for me to talk about because I am white, I will never know what it’s like to be discriminated against in that way. One of the things I love about going to Wayne State is the ability to step out of the echo chamber of racism and negativity and hear others’ experiences and opinions. I will continue to educate myself every day.
