Which kind of parenting style (Annette Lareau) did your parents use with you? How do you think that impacted you? (Accomplishment of natural growth or concerted cultivation)
When we were being taught the exact definitions of accomplishment of natural growth and concerned cultivation, I couldn’t help relate to both parenting styles. When being taught about accomplishment of natural growth, I was like yes, this is so accurate to how I was raised. However, I find similarities with the concerned cultivation definition, so I find myself the mix of both. I come from a solid middle class family and growing up, I was always doing different activities. Just off the top of my head, throughout my adolescence, I did karate, swimming, ballroom dance, gymnastics, band, etc. These ideas fall in the concerned cultivation style of parenting, however, it was never my parents forcing me into these activities.
It was always my interest in these hobbies and my parents going along with it and enrolling me into them. These qualities are how I fall into concerned cultivation. However, if you look at my parents actual parenting styles, that is very accomplishment of natural growth. Growing up, my parents words were always final and that was that. They were never physical, but if I acted in defiance of what they said their voices would always raise until I clearly understood their point. Another aspect that was drilled into me was “respecting your elders”. This idea to respect anyone who was older than you, or, anyone in a position of authority. These ideas align so clearly with accomplishment of natural growth.
My parents also were never the overprotective, helicopter style that we often see today. My parents let my brother and I roam free and children, participating in whatever we wanted to. As children, my parents let myself roam around my neighborhood with the fellow neighborhood kids until dinner time. I know for a fact this directly reflects the upbringing of both my parents, which is why they instilled it onto me. I didn’t know my grandparents a ton before they died, but from the stories I’ve been told, they were very hard headed and what they said, went. They also grew up during a time where children would run around their neighborhoods and when it hit dinner time, that’s when they knew it was time to come home.
So, much of their parent’s teaching are reflected in how they parent me, but there is an aspect that has changed through their generation. I think their style has impacted me in different ways, in that as a child, I was not to argue with what my parents said. So now, as an adult, I find myself combating what my dad said because even though I still live in his house, I’m not a child anymore. I still respect my parents, but I find myself wanting to say something in response to my parents if I think it needs to be said.
