Maybe I’m supposed to write about a happy feeling here or an angry feeling here. However, the only thing that comes to my mind is being scared. I am thinking of one situation that occurred when I was probably around 8. I was homeschooled; therefore, I did not have a real classroom instead this took place in our dining room. It was me, my dad, and my brother. We were doing math. Math is hard, one needs a teacher, a patient teacher. Something I never had.
We were trying to do our math lesson, however we needed help so me and my brother asked my dad for help. For context, my dad has a graduate degree in economics, so he is well-suited for fourth-grade math. I don’t think it was the math that was frustrating for him however it was us, his kids not picking it up right away. Particularly my brother, my brother is very smart. In college, he is doing well for himself. However, during this moment he just couldn’t grasp this concept. No problem, right? Wrong. This led to my father picking up the large math textbook throwing it rather hard at my brother and walking away.
My brother was fine, but this scared me like no other. After that day no one asked my dad for help ever again. You can’t imagine how hard it is to learn with no teacher. How was I supposed to teach myself at such a young age? It all feels not fair, I can’t help but think if better education systems were put into place, perhaps I would have been okay. However, no. In Michigan, there is no need to go through any organization parents could simply not send their child to school ever and face no consequences. How is that fair? Luckily this did not happen again, in the same context.
This is mostly because we stopped asking for help with school. This type of education has affected how I do things for the rest of my life. I realized this just now as I misspelled a word and cannot figure out for the life of me how to spell it. This made me frustrated, wanting to cry and give up. Turn in a subpar writing. Is this because of my upbringing and education? How can one area of my life mess me up forever? I hate it, it makes me want to scream and yell and cry. I want to yell at my parents for not teaching me, I want to yell at the whole education system for not looking out for me. It’s not only me this system doesn’t look out for the majority of us. How can it when so many people are disadvantaged?
