The last meal I ate was a sandwich and a coffee from the 320 coffee shop. The sandwich was an egg and cheese on an english muffin with peppers and some mysterious (but very good) sauce. The coffee was a brown sugar latte. I ate the sandwich from a bag while I went on a walk, so there were definitely no utensils involved. I walked around slowly drinking my coffee for a while and then ate the sandwich in a rush because by that time it had already gotten pretty cold. I love going on walks as a way to clear my mind and just spend time in the environment, which is what I used this time for. I did not listen to any music this time because I did not want it to be used as a distraction from my thoughts and from being grounded and appreciative of the moment. I did not eat with anyone directly around me, although there were many people I passed by as I walked for about 30 – 40 minutes in the light rain.
It was incredibly peaceful and I often feel incredibly lucky to have the freedom of time and money to be able to go on a walk with food that I purchased (food that is more expensive than something I could buy from the store and meal plan). It certainly feels like a luxury, and I often think that it reflects the level of income/wealth I want for myself- enough money to be able to purchase fun snacks and have time for walks in the rain (and to buy fun things from time to time). I think these details are very related to social class because time and money are luxuries that I get to enjoy because I am not struggling to pay for my living. I benefit from my parents having the money to be able to take care of my basic living expenses, so I get the luxury of not worrying about buying myself snacks and not worrying about whether or not I should have free time when I could be working instead.
I do often reflect on this during my walks, as I pass by many people on their way to work and support themselves who probably could not afford such an activity. I often think about how I hope if, when I become less financially dependent on my parents, I make a large income, that I live no more lavishly or excessive than the types of luxuries like a walk and a coffee and such. While I don’t think that I necessarily should feel guilty for taking a walk and being able to buy food from a coffee shop, I sometimes do. Instead of just wallowing in useless guilt, I want to keep these times in mind in order to guide how I live in the future and how I approach social class in general. As we talked about in class, it is important to direct our anger/emotions appropriately toward the source of problems, so I try to focus on structures and solutions rather than overly analyzing every purchase I make and whether the money could be going to someone else. I want to take these types of moments to be mindful and reflective rather than self-punishing in a way that will end up serving no one. That has, historically, been a hard distinction for me to make, but is something that I am slowly working through as I grow into being an adult.
