As the youngest child in my family and only daughter, I perceived injustices early because I felt like my older brother was taken much more seriously. My parents are both feminists, so I was raised with the understanding that this persisted in society, and that was reflected in my early understanding. Growing up, I played a lot with my brother and dad, so I spent a lot of time wrestling, playing sports, and playing more “masculine” games. When I was five, I remember finding out women were not able to play in the NFL, which was my dream at the time, and I cried. I have previously joked that this was the turning point for me- when I became a feminist. As I got older, but still in childhood, I was often stronger than boys my age and flaunted it, making a point of beating every boy in my 5th class at arm wrestling. I realize now that my “feminism” was self-centered, as I only recognized the issues I faced. My sense of feminism has grown alongside my exposure, as I have now seen more harmful inflictions of patriarchy, especially regarding intersectionality, that I can use my privilege to combat.
I believe that anyone identifying as a woman is such, and vice versa for men. Furthermore, I know that gender is a socially constructed spectrum due to interpellation and the performance of gender. Because of this, there cannot be a set number of identities. Still, with socialization and gender ideals withholding as strongly as they do, gender concepts have very much become a reality. Because of this, different genders still perceive and experience the world in different ways. I consider things to be masculine when they are typically associated with and socialized towards men. In contrast, I consider feminine things to be what are typically associated with women.
I identify as a woman, but I am very comfortable doing, wearing, and saying things that even I consider more masculine. Men are typically more hesitant to lean into femininity, likely because of the response they would receive from other men. I must recognize that my comfort in my gender expression is a privilege. I, as a cisgender, straight, white woman, do not have my gender identity questioned by others, so I have that confidence. Unfortunately, transgender people who have had their identity denied may not have this luxury. This is also applicable to marginalized groups of cisgender women. For example, black women, particularly dark-skinned women, are often degraded as “masculine” as a result of colorism.
