I feel like life would be less stressful if I were a different person. Both as a man or someone who’s straight. Just the stress of not needing to hide who you are because of the way you feel. It feels like there would be less expectations as a man than a woman. The thought of always needing to do better than others but not too much because than you’d be labeled as a suck up. I think
My life might be more stressful as a man than a women. As a black man, I feel like I’d be taken more seriously but also feeling like more people would be afraid of me. I think people would be more cautious around me for walking down the street. I feel like I would have to suck up more to people so they don’t think I’m a threat. I would say most of my days would be normal until I work at my job that is predominantly white. I’ve seen how people there look at us sideways and I’ve experienced it too. I’m sure it would be a lot harder to work there, especially in the aquatic department.
If I had to imagine I had the same personality as I do now, I’d be considered weak for showing emotion. I was always surrounded by men that were taught to never cry in front of others or it would show how one you were. That logic to me is so insane and does more harm than good. If I had to grow up the same way, I think my choices in education would be different. I wouldn’t think it was weird how people are told to bottle their emotions. I feel like I’d have less empathy for people.
I think the other part of me says things would stay the same. I can’t imagine myself ever thinking that way so I hope I’d have enough critical thinking for myself and throw away those values. I know that I would be criticized more for wanting to show my feelings more but in my opinion, that’s what makes you human. I remember a few months ago when my aunt passed away, I saw my dad have a panic attack for the first time in his life. He had no idea what was going on. All those emotions finally set him off and I saw nothing but fear in his eyes. He kept everything bottled in until he couldn’t hold it in anymore. I talked to my sister about it and we agreed that that’s how he was brought up. He was never allowed to cry. And I think we need to get rid of that way of thinking. So I’d hope if I were a different person, I’d still feel the same way I do now.
