When I read this question, the first situation I thought of where I felt that I have power in relation to others was in my job. At the restaurant job that I have been working at for over 5 years, I work many positions, manager being one. When I am manager, I have more power over the servers on the floor. This is not a “boss-employee” relation, like you listed as an example, but it is still power over others I would assume. With being the manager, I oversee all the other servers that are working during that shift. I cannot explain the aspects of identity since many of the servers are different. This includes servers who are male, female, gay, straight, black, Mexican, etc. For myself though, I am a white female.
I feel as though I am friends or at least acquaintances with everyone who works at the job. I knew these people from the job itself. I did not know them outside of work, so they were coworkers, but I’ve formed a relationship with most of them. The context in which I had power over them is that I can tell them what to do and when to leave essentially. For example, I have to tell them to do tasks, such as filling salt/pepper or condiments, wiping down shelves, cutting lemons, cashing someone out at the register, or taking carry outs. I have to tell them these things or else nothing would get done.
The servers know that I am above them in power since they cannot tell me to do things. They treat me with respect, and I treat them with respect as well. I do not believe that the power relationship impacts my interactions between the other servers and me. I feel like they treat me as an equal, but they just listen to what I tell them. They are not nervous around me, or scared to talk to me about anything, unlike our boss. I feel as though boss-employee is different than manager-employee in the restaurant industry. I am glad that they treat me like everyone else.
I wouldn’t want to be not included in conversations or make people nervous just because I am a manager. I feel as though this could be different compared to other, more bigger and fancier restaurants. Overall, I think that in this power situation, it doesn’t feel like a regular power relation. But in the end, it is still there because the servers listen to what I say, they won’t say no to something a manager told them to do.
