Race has always been an interesting idea in my mind. I grew up homeschooled and very sheltered therefore for the first, about 15 years of my life the only exposure I got to other races or ethnic backgrounds were through my 3 hours of gymnastics and dance a week, or online media. I would describe my identity as white; it might be very direct and to the point but it’s true. I might have some Significant culture in my background but that’s not what everyone sees. My grandma was adopted, and my other grandma made many friends who were not her husband, therefore me and my family very much didn’t know the details of our ethnicity for a long time. We sort of assumed we were Irish, as that’s what my grandparents told us. However, it turns out we are mostly Scottish. Me and all my siblings did Scottish dance for many years. I’m talking kilts and bagpipes, Scottish games, all that fun stuff. That was a big part of who I was growing up.
However, I never really thought about race until about 2020. That’s when I just started in person classes and was old enough to be active on social media. That’s when I was informed on just how crazy some of the inequality’s different races face are. There are many ways I benefit from my identity; we all know it. I have a lot of privileges that I can appreciate. I cannot sit here and say I suffer from anything because of my race. I don’t feel like I miss out on anything due to this factor. Sure, there are other reasons I feel as if I am mistreated however, none of those have to do with race. I feel very fortunate. I feel as if these questions should be difficult to answer. Many people try to ignore the disparities different races feel or downplay their privilege.
It can be hard to admit when one is privileged, perhaps like you’re trying to brag that you don’t face any disparities because of something such as your culture or ethnicity. However, I feel as if it’s better to be honest and upfront about your privilege and use that privilege to help others who may not have it. It does make me angry at how long it took me to realize how prominent of a role race took in our society, only being around people like me during childhood, and with very conservative parents I feel as if I am unable to understand so many different aspects of race and ethnicity. I wish I had gotten to learn about others and their cultures earlier on. However, we can’t change the past. That’s why I decided to take this class. To hopefully help aid in my understanding of not just race and ethnicity, but social inequalities across the board.
Because of whom I modeled after, I am aware I have a lot of work to do in understanding and unlearning some behaviors that may not be the greatest. I try to think why when these things happen, however, that usually leads me to spiral and end up somewhere between why people are so awful and what is the point of being alive. It’s hard to find a middle ground in everything. It’s easy to think “Why can’t we all just love each other for who we are and be happy” However, it’s not that simple, it never is.
